Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

I don’t cotton to rapists

What do you think of the Black history lessons in the PBS documentary about jazz pianist-singer Hazel Scott?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can read

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Elon Musk posts throwback to SpaceX’s garage days after the 500th Falcon rocket launch; his caption reads - Times of India

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why have cell phones, the internet, and reality TV turned the world into a toilet, as this has not advanced us in any way?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Does a person with schizophrenia hear voices?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Netanyahu says ‘we’ll do what we need to do’ with Iran’s leader - Financial Times

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Kate Middleton Shares a Rare Family Photo After Trooping the Colour - instyle.com

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What are your funniest "lost in translation" moments if you grew up speaking more than one language?

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Have you ever witnessed political correctness harm someone?

I can count

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

What are some questions obviously just asked for sexual gratification?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have a reading level above third grade

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is